Monday, March 26, 2012

Turn Around <---

Life is Hard.
I could just leave this statement and relate to you all on that note. But there is something so much more important to relate to you on. Life is hard. Today has been a stressful day for me. There is so much going on around me and in my life that I just want to crawl into bed and stay there for a few weeks. I know you can relate to this. Everyone has times, days like these. Some have more than others. We all handle them differently. My question is why do those of us who know where to find our answers, our help, our strength, our power, our LIFE, why do we not draw from that? Why do we continue to look to ourselves, our friends, our spouses/partners, our problems, drugs, alcohol, so many other sources for peace?
God loves us! He really does. THere are a few people in my life right now that I just want to remind how much God loves them, including myself, the others, I hope you read this.
God created all of the beauty in life just for you! It would be here for you if you were the only person ever created. You are his child he created you with love and care. He delivered you into this world with awesome hopes and expectations for you. All the love in the world couldn't describe a tenth of how much he loves you. YOU. When life seems so hard remember this!
Trying to grasp this is so hard, but I'm trusting God to minister it to our hearts more and more everyday. So turn around, and remember this, quit going to all the other stuff to find your LIFE and turn to the one who is LIFE and LOVE.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Revival! What will it take?

God,
There are moments when I'm so overwhelmed and enraptured in your love.When I just want to sing and dance and shout for the joy You have given me. I have an ever ready hope that has grown in my heart, even in my dark moments I can draw on that hope. I have a desire to see others experience this love that has flooded my heart and the value that I experience as Your beloved daughter. I just want to run and run and tell everyone about you.
But so many others, including other christians,including myself at times, are so stuck on the life here on earth and the problems that they face and the stress and weaknesses that we deal with here. People are so indifferent about life, and about their souls and the souls of those that they love.
What will it take God, to see a true revival, to see people on fire for You! How can we live continually in Your grace and mercy? And also with your fervor to see renewal in souls and revival in spirits?
Let's rise up and reach out Christians. Let us reach out to God and continually be renewed and revived so that we can reach out to the lost and weary, with the strength and confidence of God and see hearts made whole and fire's lit under people and see salvation spread through our homes, families, cities, and nation!

Monday, January 9, 2012

27 years to remember

Has it really been 27 years that I've been here? It seems like such a short amount of time, yet so much has happened in the world, in my family, in my life, in my own heart.
I can look back over the last twenty seven years and see what all I have been, what titles I have held, many of which I am not proud. I lied, I cheated, I stole, I was an adulterer, I was hateful, I was selfish, I was disrespectful and unkind. The good that God placed in me at birth was fading more and more each year.
But God allowed me to come to a place where I knew, I saw how badly, how deeply I needed Him, how much my soul longed for Him, how my heart cried out for His love. Not the love of a man. But the love of God.
Slowly but surely I have begun to be reminded, by the word of God and His still small voice, who I really am. Apart from all the darkness that had begun to grow up inside of me, I began to see the beauty and the purpose for which I was really created.
I was not created for all of these horrible things but to be loved by the living God. To be a tool through which His light can shine. I can rise up and see all that he has done in my life. Brought me from so much. I am not the same person. I am stronger, lighter, loving, a princess.
Moving forward into whatever God has for me is my heart's desire.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

A Letter to My Daughter



I have a daughter. She left me very early. I never even got to meet her here. I know I will meet her in heaven one day though. I'll be able to look into her big beautiful eyes, with the same long lashes as her brothers. I'll stroke her soft dark curls and hold her for hours.
What I am writing now she will never need. I am writing what I would've told her (and will tell any daughter's I may have in the future) had she lived and grown on this earth.
This is not only for my daughter's but all of the daughter's of God.
First of all, you are beautiful. God created every woman with beauty, no matter what she looks like. You are beautiful because you reflect part of Him.
You are a princess in every way. You were created to live and be treated as such. You were not created for the harsh conditions of this world. You were created to live and walk and bask in the presence of the Living God. You were created to be treated carefully and preciously. You were created to dance, love, sing, laugh and enjoy life.
You are God's beautiful princess. He desires to hold you in His hand's and love you and protect you, and to see His joy and peace in your eyes.
You are strong. Not in the ways that a man is strong, but in the ways God knew women would need to be strong to survive this world.
Your love is strong and fierce. It goes beyond words. The love women feel as mothers is similar to the love that God feels for His children.Your love can break down walls and build up strong men and women with hearts for God.
Your faith is strong. As women the faith we can have in those we love can be unfathomable. Make sure your faith is in God and those who truly know him.
You are delicate. Not only are women delicate physically but also spiritually and emotionally. Some women would disagree with me on this. But I believe God created us this way for a reason. Your body, spirit and emotions are like precious jewels. None of these aspects of you are meant to be handled harshly or by many people. They are delicate and should be kept only for those who will handle them carefully.
With your body, do your best to keep it healthy and beautiful in the eyes of God. Remember it is His temple.
With your emotions, do not throw them about freely and do not let others stir them up excessively. They are good when used properly but they are not meant to be your guide.
With your spirit, this is the part of you that is the most precious to God. But remember it is also affected by every other aspect of your being and life. So guard it carefully and diligently please.
Above all my beautiful Princess, remember that you are a daughter of the Living God. You are precious and set aside to do His perfect will. And He loves you... enough that He sacrificed His Son for you.

Love,
Mama

P.S.
I can't wait to see you in heaven...

Saturday, December 24, 2011

The Tree Doesn’t Shine as Bright This Year

This year the Christmas Tree doesn’t shine as bright . There is a bulb that has burnt out. It lived its life in this strand of lights and did all that it could to keep the tree shining bright. It burned oh so bright, some may say it was the brightest light of all the lights.
But it did its job and it grew tired. It tried to hang on, knowing that it was what kept that tree shining so bright. The Tree Keeper saw the light flickering and knew that it was weary. Then he looked at the other light’s and saw them burning dimly never burning as bright as they may, because they all depended on the brightest light. He gently pulled that light from its strand and put it in a safe place, where it would never flicker again and would shine brighter than ever.
The other lights began to flicker, when they saw the Tree Keeper take that light. They knew that their tree would not be as bright this year. They wondered if they would ever shine as bright again. The Tree Keeper watched that tree carefully knowing that it was struggling to shine at all. He watched that tree for several days. Then one day when all the lights seemed to be fading away at the loss of their brightest light, He spoke to that tree, He said:
I did not take her to make you flicker and fade.
I took her that the rest of you might push through your pain,
Become stronger, learn to work together,
and that each of you might learn to shine brighter than ever.
If you each persevere and shine your brightest,
Your tree will one day be the brightest tree of all again.
I am sorry for your loss. I feel your pain.
I love you.
I did not take that light to hurt you.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Keepin' it 100

SO my last post was desperate and depressing, but sometimes I feel that way. I feel so utterly lost and alone. But what can we be, if we can't be real with each other?
We all try so hard to be perfect, and to be right. Especially as Christians, we don't really let each other see our real hearts. Sure we let out the love and kindness and let it shine out like we're care bear's with a big sun beam coming out of our stomach's. But that's not REAL! We all get angry and hurt and sad. None of us are immune to our humanity and all the emotions and sorrow that comes with it. So why do we act like we are?
Were are the Christian Samaritan's? We all want to celebrate and join in the festivities when everything is great and we are happy. But when we are lying on the side of the road with huge gaping emotional wounds and are crying out for help, how often is it the Christian that walks on by. Or maybe they stop and look at you and say "Get Up!" "Don't you know who you are in Christ" "Don't you know he's healed you" " Get over it".Yet it was Jesus himself who told us to be like the Samaritan and to care for that wounded person, to feed and clothe and mend there wounds. We want to reach out and help those who don't know Christ we want to lead them to Him and show them the way, but the one's we've already led we leave to fend for themselves. Maybe I'm wrong in this but that just doesn't sound right.
We here about the miracles and physical healing's but what about the emotional wound's? Are they being healed? And if they are, why don't we talk about them?
Is it fair to only want to see the happy cheery Christian all the time? Or maybe you've been struggling for a while and been down for a while and people are starting to ignore you thinking, "geez isn't she over that yet?" Why do we limit our compassion to only certain wounds,illnesses? Why do we put a time limit on our compassion? What if the Samaritan would have only brought the man to the hotel and left him to figure out the rest? Would he even have made it in the bible?
For you Christian's who try to be sunshine bear all the time, let's be honest it's not real. And for those of you who only want to deal with sunshine bear, remember, you will have your days' were you to are grumpy bear and need some compassion. For those of you who are grumpy bear right now, I understand, it won't always be this way, but don't feel that you have to hide it. Reach out and find someone who will help you heal.
Christ is our ultimate healer, but he's given us each other for a reason and that is to hold each other up when we feel we can't go on.

Tired of fighting.

I know that God has said that his burden is light. But I feel so weighed down. I know he has said not to grow weary. But I am so so tired.
I don't know were to go from here.
I feel like I have to FIGHT for everything in my life.
I have to fight for peace.
I have to fight for my sanity.
I have to fight for my children.
I have to fight for my marriage.
I have to fight for my family.
I have to fight for my relationship with God.
I am so tired of fighting. I don't know where to draw strength from anymore. I try and draw from the Lord. but it drains so quickly. I don't know how to be any stronger. I don't know were to turn from here. I am so alone. I'm losing my grip and I'm scared to fall. Will anyone catch me if I fall? I've always caught everyone else, who will catch me? Or will I fall to my end? GOD!!! Where are you? Please help me!!!! I am so tired. I can't go on like this much longer.
Will someone please catch me. Just reach out a hand and help me, please!!
Where is this strength, this river that will keep me always? Have I wondered away from it, if I have, I am sorry, HOW DO I GET BACK? How do I psh on through this?